the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
