I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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