Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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