Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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