They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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