the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
