i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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