He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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