Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
