i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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