chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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