also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
operation harelip BJ is a go
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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