Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
