just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
