I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My pussy is not your playground.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
