You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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