You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
