from now on my penis is your penis
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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