I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
