Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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