PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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