just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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