i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
