Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
