...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
be right there i have to get my cape
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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