That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
