i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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