I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
