He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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