I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
