Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
