She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
