A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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