omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
