You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
