your room smells of hookers.
And success
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
