He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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