The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
