on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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