This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
