just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
