what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize