he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just cut my nipple shaving
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
