is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize
