i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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