oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
