Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
