All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Everclear isn't food dammit
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
