i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
