what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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