I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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