I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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