There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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