I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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