I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
