he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
