You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
