The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize