i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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