ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
