Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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