Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
