We're facebook friends in real life
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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