john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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