i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
