They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I currently don't understand fingers.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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