please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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