bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
