I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
