You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
